Determined to be born this way.

As an under the radar Gleek I pride myself on knowing what's going on, never missing a show and being an avid iTunes purchaser of everything new the Warblers put out featuring Blaine (swoon, sorry Nate!) but draw the line at fanaticism. I rarely get involved in the politics surrounding an episode. It's just TV, right? Last week's episode "Born this Way" definitely had me thinking though. The premise is that in highschool, and really throughout your life you have to learn to understand and hopefully appreciate the parts of you that make you special, those aspects you may not like but that often times set you apart. It's funny because when the teasers aired during the prior week I wasn't sure which character I would invest in. I think what surprised me is that while I found myself seeing a little bit of me in each of them, it was Quinn with her perfect persona but screaming insecurities that seemed the most raw and honest. You never know what's hiding behind someone's doe eyed expression and therefore you can't really ever judge.

I've been dying to get writing again (expect a flood of posts hopefully soon) and as I walked home from my friend's house after watching the show, I found that my head was suddenly spinning, dissecting, analyzing, interpreting and trying to understand. I was inspired and maybe in ways I hadn't expected. While the assignment for the week was to find something you were born with, that you have to deal with or accept and put it out there, I knew that the underlying tone was to love yourself the way you were born. Don't try to change who you are. But for me, it seemed to go further. Again I was drawn to a quote from Q. When challenged as to why she'd undergone her drastic transformation pre-highschool with the snide comment, "because you didn't love yourself", it was her response, "no, it was because I did", that struck a chord (chord overstreet, aw snap!). She saw her potential and found a way to get there. Suddenly I got it. People wear contacts, they dye their hair, they get elective surgery and try to lose weight. None of this changes who they are on the inside or who they were destined to be. All these minor changes do is make them feel better about themselves and maybe even inspire a bit of confidence to actually go after who they wanted to be.

In middle school I was a pretty normal teen. Slightly overweight with glasses, freckles and a hell of a honker. A set of contacts, several pounds lost and a "Rachel Berry" elective surgery later I was a college junior on an entirely different track with an entirely different level of confidence. And last night as I sat watching, laughing a bit that I was a brown eyed man with a big smile who couldn't really sing or dance, sometimes had a bad attitude, with a pension to fixate on things I can't control and a love for boys, I knew that in each character was a part of me, and likely in each character to some extent was a part of you.

A self made man is someone who takes what they're given and makes it something more. It's someone who sees the potential against the impractical and isn't afraid to want it. I think so often we get lost in judging others for the decisions they make and never really stop to understand why they made them. Born this Way doesn't just teach you to settle for what you've been given, or even to appreciate what you're born with but challenges you to take what you have and make it something incredible. Yes, physical traits are sometimes harder to alter but physical traits aren't always what holds you back. So Quinn changed her outsides to match how she felt on the inside and she was fortunate enough to do so. The fact that she was able to accomplish her goal isn't what sets her apart, it's her drive to try that does. As the flock of girls who once looked at Lauren as their ideal Prom Queen for being just like them, changed their opinion so did I.

And it's not all about looks. Some people are born with more inherent intelligence while others have jealousy-inducing traits of survival skills, motivation, determination, physical prowess and mad humor. Wanting to challenge yourself to achieve any of these doesn't mean you're not happy with who you are or appreciative for what you have but rather someone who wants to be the best possible version of who they were always meant to be.

So we've all felt it. If not un-pretty, maybe inferior or at the very least less than amazing but it doesn't mean those imperfections that make us feel that way have to define the path we take. And no you don't have to change how you look to change how you feel, but if it helps you get there, no one else should make you feel worse for doing so. If accepting others for who they are becomes the silver standard while accepting yourself becomes gold, maybe striving for who you want to be will be the new black.